Communication Disconnect

     This lack of communication between the characters is kind of infuriating. No one says what they really mean or what they really want to say. The social catastrophe involving Lydgate and Bulstrode is a huge example of this. Mrs. Bulstrode has to visit one person after another until her brother, Walter Vincy, finally fills her in. At first, I thought that this was due to the fact that the people of Middlemarch didn't want to snoop and meddle into things that didn't concern them. But then I thought, "Wait a minute! These people love to snoop and gossip! They just don't want to appear as snoopers and gossipers."
    Neither Bulstrode or Lydgate are man enough to tell their wives that they screwed up (or that people at least think they screwed up). They both let other people do the dirty work for them. Bulstrode even says on page 707 in chapter 74, "He had looked forward to her (Mrs. Bulstrode) learning the truth from others, and had acquiesced in that probability, as something easier to him that any confession."
      Okay, I understand that Bulstrode's and Lydgate's pride is shot and they're embarrassed, etc., but I still think its incredibly disrespectful not to enlighten their wives on something that equally affects them. I understand that they both feel like failures in the eyes of their wives. Maybe they were just trying to hold off the inevitable truth for as long as they could.