Over Spring Break, I travelled to Les Cayes, Haiti. One day
while I was there, a family approached our bus. They had three little girls with them.
The father gave one little girl to my friend and just started walking away. We
were confused and started saying, “No, no, no.” Our translator told us that the
family could no longer take care of the little girl. They wanted us to take her
home. This story absolutely broke my heart. How can a family just give away
their child? I can’t imagine how hard that must be on the girl’s parents. My
experience in Haiti reminded me of some of the issues that occur in Ruth Hall, as well as other books that
we have read this semester.
One theme of Ruth Hall
that really sticks out to me is motherhood. Like in Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin, we see women who are desperately
trying to be a “good mom” (whatever that means!). Obviously, Ruth Hall’s
struggles to protect and care for her children are at the center of the novel. Ruth
is willingly to work and live anywhere so that she can be with her children. In
Ruth Hall, there is one other mother
that I cannot stop thinking about. Mary Andrews, the woman who asks “Floy” to
take care of her baby when she dies. It baffles me that a woman could place her
baby in the care of a “stranger, and yet not
a stranger” (213). What courage that
must take! Mary Andrew’s situation
reminds me of Cassy in Uncle Tom’s Cabin.
Both women are in unfortunate situations. Both women have to decide what to
do for their baby. Both women must act boldly and bravely for their children.
This book has called my attention to the fact that being a
mother is an act of bravery! If a woman chooses to keep her child in hard
times, like Ruth, she is taking a risk. If a woman chooses to give up her child
in hopes that the child will have a better life, like Mary Andrews, the woman
is also courageous.
Keeping or giving up a child seems a lot like the prude/slut dichotomy to me in terms of the societal authority to judge and shame. You're "selfish" either way, aren't you? The truth of your circumstances is always up for debate.
ReplyDeleteBrandi, I agree with you totally. A woman is brave to keep her child, irregardless of hard times or not. Having a child always has risks. The risk of a problem during pregnancy and the risk of a problem at birth are natural concerns;the worry of how to bring up a child is also a challenge. A woman who gives away her child in order for it to have a better life is, in my opinion, a hero. I don't think having a child or giving up a child to adoption is selfish if the child's best interests are at stake. It is selfish to have a child in order to keep a man or because you feel like it is something you must do because others your age are doing it.
ReplyDeleteA really moving post, Brandi. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, women who put kids up for adoption because they want them to have better lives are definitely heroes in my book. That's how I got my niece and nephew. :)
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